Letting Go

These images put on canvas, paper or bent into form come from a force not entirely owned by myself. When I paint, I usually start with a meditative state- closing my eyes, breathing deliberatively allowing the energy to build within. I have stayed in this position for as little as 10 seconds and as long as 20 minutes until I am ready to proceed. Don’t get me wrong I can draw, paint, sculpt just about anything upon demand, but when I really let my conscious mind take a back seat, it is an experience like none other. I lift a paint brush- unsure what needs to happen next – I’m drawn to a certain color, and then the next. The same is true for technique – wet on wet, dry brush, impasto, large swipes of washes, drips, splashes, scratch into surface with end of brush or abandon the brush entirely and go straight for the tactile joy of painting with my fingers and open hand fingers tapping the canvas in cadence to the music. It’s a song in motion with the image taking form. Three songs later, I step back wiping my hair out of my face to see what has emerged- I smile, take a deep satisfied breath akin to watching your children play or completing a long hike and overlooking a beautiful lake. This piece is one of those you feel impassioned by because the journey was special. You don’t know how you got there, but you did, and it was worth the wait. So, when it is time for a show and you gather up your journey depicted on canvas and hang it on a wall in a foreign gallery, certain vulnerability arises. What if someone buys it? My journey, hanging on someone else’s wall, what do I think of that? Part of me wants them to stay close to my side, for they are part of me, like my children for I have lived the moments it took to create them. But truly, Art – finds the right owner, it jumps off the wall and says take me home, and that is something both artist and patron must come to terms with. What fun it is to know that your work has found a place in their heart and their home. It doesn’t get much better than that.