You never know what is in store for you when you walk into the studio, some days you’ve got it , some days , not so much. This is why, today I abandon the brushes and opt for the keyboard. Yesterday was incredible, finished a large free flowing painting in brilliant colors and then went on to complete about 7 sketches for my book illustrations, and had 2 clients walk in and reserve portraits. A really good day! Today I start by doing some paper work, and creative energy – gone. I did manage to do about 5 more pages of sketches and characters for the children’s book, which was entertaining when I purposely simplified the images to suit preschoolers taste. Sometimes what I come up with just makes me laugh. I have also had the opposite reaction. Some pieces, pulled from my subconscious and through some out of body experience somehow appear on the canvas, literally made me cry. Not just cry, but sob. I wont go into the story or the meaning behind the painting at this time, but it was one of those moments when it all becomes clear and that can be very healing. The emotive power of the arts is something that not everyone is fortunate enough to be plugged into. Ok , so most people have cried at a sad movie, but to listen to a poem and peace washes over you or stand before a painting and cry- when on the surface it appears to be bright and cheerful but the title alerts you of how very alone the creator felt with the death of their son. The image is burned into my subconscious, in its simplicity, along with its name-“ hello, its me.” To offer this up, to the universe, while waiting for a response that never comes must be heart wrenching.
If you are the creative type, you may have experienced this strange phenomenon creative energy is not something that you can necessarily prompt no matter how you may set the stage with cool instrumental music, candles, incense, hot cup of coffee or other beverage. Some times the urge to create just attacks like an assault on the spirit. Like a dancer, who must dance, NOW. You know, singing in the rain, style. Our daughter is struck with
this gift, breaking into song at a moments notice, she has every since she was four years old – it brings such joy to our home to hear her as she is getting ready for school or cleaning her room, well , just about anytime. I too have been afflicted with the , “ I must draw, now” feeling, awakening at 3am and having a brilliant idea that can only be unleashed now, not five minutes from now , or three hours from now when “normal” people usually get up. Sometimes I have yielded to this cosmic force and gotten up to take a few notes and sketches, but its not the same as putting on your bathrobe and wool socks and pulling out the paints while the family sleeps off last nights chocolate cake.
This has also happened to me when it is socially unacceptable to fly into a drawing frenzy, like when my husband are out for dinner and it is at this time I notice how the light pours out of the kitchen and spills around the silhouette of the wait staff – “ I’ve got to get a picture of that” I quietly say as im digging in my purse for my digital camera only to discover the light is too dim to capture it all. Damn! Ok, so I look at the image for a few more moments to make sure I can recall it later when I’m back in the studio where “ creative genius is reserved to transpire.” I reach out for his hand once again and smile and tell him I love him, take a sip of wine and a bite of the beautifully prepared meal, delicious. He excuses himself to the restroom, Ah,- I must have a piece of paper in here somewhere, eureka! A deposit slip and ball point pen the components of any prepared artist, just a few chicken scratches later I have a reminder of what inspired me in the first place later to be fleshed out in full color. Into the chair beside me goes my sketch before he returns to the table and we resume a romantic dinner for two.
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